Never Quite Gone
by moviebuff001
Summary: Rose finds she is not as alone as she thought and neither is the Doctor. Reunion fic TenRose
1. Are you there? Are you watching me?

Title: Never Quite Gone

Author: Carla

Rating: PG-13 for the moment

Characters: Ten/Rose

Spoilers: Post-Doomsday, season three including Last of the Time Lords

Disclaimer: Not mine etc.

Summary: Rose finds she is not as alone as she thought. Reunion fic.

Author Notes: First time writing in this fandom, I'm also not British and haven't seen Classic Doctor Who (I know, how do I sleep at night?).

It had started a week after they had gotten back from Bad Wolf Bay, Rose had woken up in a sweat, images of a red alien spider, a giant hole in the ground and a red-headed woman in a wedding dress, still clinging to her mind. But that wasn't what had her sobbing with tears. It was the anger and loss that had filled her seeming dream. It was as if she was seeing through the Doctor's eyes and feeling his pain. She was scared for him, he was so full of loneliness in this dream. As tears ran down her face, she viciously prayed that it really was a dream because if this really was how he was feeling, it would kill her.

Nothing had happened again for a few days and Rose had passed the experience off as a dream and nothing more. She still dreamt of the Doctor but they were visions from before or images of them reuniting again. They were never of the same intensity as the earlier dream though.

Subsequently Rose had spent most of her time sleeping, just so she could feel that tiny bit closer to the Doctor. She never wanted to eat and the only person she would talk to was her mum. Mickey had tried but Rose was sure that he couldn't understand why she refused to move on and Pete just wasn't sure what to do. Her mum knew what it was like to lose someone and she had held her as she'd sobbed the entire car ride home from Norway. Jackie had made endless cups of tea and had personally seen to the cook learning how to make the perfect chips.

Despite her mum's reassurance that Rose needed to take her time with her grief, Rose knew she had to get up some time. She just wasn't quite ready for that yet.

"Rose, sweetheart?" Jackie knocked on the door lightly, carrying a cup of tea. She sat down on the bed next to Rose and passed her the cup.

Rose managed a smile, "Thanks Mum."

"I know you're feeling like absolute rubbish right now but Pete has arranged for you to go into Torchwood today. Just for a little while, "Jackie added when Rose's face cringed. "It'll help just to get your mind off it, even for a few hours."

'It' being the Doctor, a word everyone around her had stopped using and she was finding it too difficult to utter that name aloud as well. Rose pondered the suggestion. Torchwood had so many memories attached to it, painful memories. But Rose realized that she would have to deal with it sooner or later and now was as good a time as ever.

She'd survived the day and agreed to come in for a few hours every day, as a sort of consultant. It didn't take her long before she fell back into bed though and this time her dreams were full of a dark girl by the name of Martha Jones and big rhinoceros looking aliens. Like her first dream, the images were in snatches, as were the feelings. But she clearly seen when he'd kissed her, Martha, snogged her right good, Rose thought bitterly. But at the same time, Rose felt the Doctor's guilt, he felt like he was betraying her.

When she woke up the next morning, her head was raging, pain throbbing through her. It took several painkillers and even more hours before she was finally able to open her eyes to the light. By then, her dream had become a distant memory. Despite how real it was Rose knew it was a dream for sure. She knew it because it wasn't possible for the Doctor to feel guilty over Rose. She knew he'd move on, that he'd find some else. As hard as it was for her to admit, it's what he'd done for his entire life, there was no reason that would change now.

That realization kept Rose in bed for the next couple of days, though this time she refused to sleep. She couldn't handle seeing his face, his voice or anything connected to him. She'd lost herself in television and movies. Watching a fake reality was much easier than dealing with her own life.

Eventually sleep did overtake her and she dreamt of him again, this time it wasn't just a flash of images and feelings but like she was watching a scene being played out. She saw through the Doctor's eyes as he leaned over the Martha girl, concern and anger raging through him. Rose watched as a woman with long ginger hair pointed at the Doctor and then said her name, _Rose_. She felt a surge of emotion, of strength…of love, come from the Doctor. _Cause that name keeps me fighting_.

Rose awoke suddenly, guilt running through her. He was still fighting, he kept going and here she was, wasting away in front of the Telly. Even if he could come back to her, Rose was sure she would never want him to see her like this.

It was still early in the morning but Rose decided she wasn't going to waste anymore time in bed. She got up, showered and headed down to the kitchen for a cup of tea. It wasn't long before Pete was up as well, a surprised look on his face, at seeing Rose up and dressed this early.

"I was hoping I could come to work today. I know I missed a few days but I'm ready now."

Pete sat down at the table next to her, "Rose it's okay, I think we pushed you too early, we all understand if you need more time." He squeezed her hand warmly in his.

Rose smiled at him, probably one of the few smiles she'd given him since being stuck in this other world. "I need something to get my mind off everything. Plus he…the Doctor wouldn't want to see me hiding away from everything. So even if I'm just doing it for him right now, well, at least I want to give it a try."

Pete smiled warmly at her and Rose was so thankful that even though she was trapped here, at least she'd gotten to know him. In fact, now that she thought about it, after all the effort she'd gone to just to meet him in the first place, she certainly wasn't taking advantage of the situation. And what about what the Doctor had said to her, about the _One Adventure I can never have_, shouldn't she be grateful? Well, that was taking it a bit far, since the only adventure she truly wanted was with him. Still, for appearances sake she was going to try to move on.

Rose continued on for the next few weeks like this, throwing all her attention into Torchwood and any remaining she tried to give to her family. She still cried herself to sleep every night and when she finally fell asleep, she would see the Doctor's life until she got up the next morning. Rose had secretly admitted to herself that these weren't dreams, that she was actually seeing what the Doctor was doing and how he was feeling. There were too many things she hadn't seen for them to be just memories and the visions were linear, not just a jumble of unconscious memories and desires.

She saw when he took Martha New New York, felt his hope when the Face of Bo told him he was not alone. She also saw when he would sit in Rose's room, staring off into space for hours, sometimes even laying on her bed and sleeping. She knew he hadn't forgotten about her, he thought about her ever so much that it broke her heart. All she wished was that she could say something or just send him some sort of message to tell him that she missed him more than anything and that she loved him.

Whatever insecurities she'd had after the beach, even after the first couple of visions, were gone now and she felt stupid for thinking them. He loved her. Even though he never said it, she could feel his love. She was starting to wish he didn't when she saw the pain he was in, how alone he felt.

She kept her new found sight to her self, she didn't need her family thinking that she had lost it even more than they already assumed. Torchwood definitely had no business knowing, despite the fact that they too wouldn't believe her either. Since she only experienced it while she slept, it never became a problem.

Although perhaps it was becoming a problem. As the time wore on, Rose couldn't resist the temptation to see what he was doing, hoping that he'd look in a mirror so she could finally see his face. She would run home from work and take quick naps or even if she could sneak in a few at work she would. Often times she'd show up late for work because she had spent the morning crying after seeing the Doctor, especially when _he_ was upset. The headaches were still present too, although the pain had decreased since that first time.

Her work at Torchwood did remind her almost daily of the Doctor. They had put her up in her own office, although it was nothing to boast of, being both small and not very private. Windows encircled the office so she had a clear view of all the other offices and the lab across the hall and they had a clear view of her. She did have a large window that faced outside, which when she worked late into the night, an often occurrence since she slept during the day, she could stare out at the sky at the stars she so longed to join.

She couldn't complain about her work, it was interesting and she was learning new things every day. Whenever Torchwood found an alien object, they brought it to her. Most of the time she could only guess at what it was, knowing the Doctor would have announced it to be something entirely different. But he wasn't there and Rose was the best they had, so both parties took it for its worth.

All of that changed one morning about a month after the visions had started. Rose had been sitting in her office, when her head exploded with images and feelings. Everything around her disappeared and she was suddenly pulled into the Doctor's head.

_Alright so it's my turn, then kill me!_


	2. As I lie here on this floor

_Alright so it's my turn. Then kill me._

Rose was staring up at a Dalek, the Doctor's voice screaming in her head. She was there in the Doctor's head, seeing everything he was seeing, hearing and feeling everything around him. And as if they were her own emotions she felt rage and bitterness searing through her. As he was staring up at his greatest enemy, Rose heard him think, '_They've taken everything away from me, everything. They'll never be gone, they'll stay, tormenting me while they take everything I care about away.'_

Rose wanted to cry out to him, to give him some kind of comfort but he couldn't hear her. He didn't know she was there, right there with him, just like before. Except this time, he thought he was alone and Rose couldn't hold his hand and remind him he wasn't.

_Do it! Just do it!_

Rose couldn't stand it, he was giving up, she could feel his exhaustion. _'I can't do this anymore. I have nothing left, there's no point anymore. Please just let this be over. I'll gladly take death if I can stop all the killing. It's not worth it. She's gone, I have nothing left.'_ The words were repeating in his head and Rose screaming at him not to do this, to move, to hide. But he couldn't hear her, he was alone and she was gone from him. That was the truth.

Rose looked through the eyes of her Doctor, willing the Dalek to turn away and when she heard the word "Exterminate," she wished for death to come to her as well.

Then, nothing happened and Rose thought she had woken up. But she saw that the Daleks were still hovering above her Doctor and that there was no rush of pain surging through him. Had they changed their minds? The Doctor was thinking the same thing but it wasn't relief that flooded him like it was doing Rose. Instead it was sadness, he'd come so close, so close to finding some kind of final peace. Why couldn't they do to him, what they'd done to everyone he'd loved? But, as Rose knew it would, the idea that a Dalek had changed its mind was incredibly intriguing to him. She heard him tell Martha just as much.

Martha's petrified eyes were staring into the Doctor's and Rose felt so conflicted about this woman suddenly. Rose was jealous of her, how could she not be? Martha was living Rose's life, while she could only watch on. But at the same time, Rose knew it was incredibly important for the Doctor to have someone with him, though she wasn't sure at this point, it was making a difference. As well, Martha seemed genuinely worried about the Doctor and she had helped him quite a few times. As much as Rose wanted to hate her, she couldn't.

Rose watched as the Doctor followed the Daleks, his mind already distracted with trying to figure out what was going on. If she had thought he had a gob before, that was nothing compared to his thought process, she could barely keep up.

She observed as he talked to the human Dalek, both of their minds going back to Van Statten's underground bunker. Then she saw in horror at all the bodies, hovering above, "shells" he'd called them. As Dalek Sec explained his plan, she felt the pain in the Doctor start to slip and hope seep in. _'This is a way to stop them without killing. It's brilliant!'_

And then everything had gone wrong.

But amidst all the confusion and the rushing about, Rose heard something that hadn't meant much at the time but for her it epitomized how truly different her Doctor had become.

_Never waste time in a hug._

He'd said it right after he'd found Martha and hugged her. Rose and the Doctor had always been hugging and mostly it was at the most inopportune moments. Rose couldn't help but think that everything had changed and she felt even lonelier for her Doctor.

Rose was petrified when the Doctor started climbing up to the top of the building, willing him to be careful. And then he'd dropped the sonic screwdriver and held onto the pole. At that point Rose swore if she ever did see him again, she would smack him one. Was he really trying to get himself killed at every opportunity?

Then everything went black.

Rose felt her own eyelids lifting but for a moment she wasn't sure if they were really hers or still the Doctor's. Her eyes were assaulted with the white lights of a hospital room and saw her mum come rushing over.

"Sweetheart, you're alright. Thank god, I thought we'd lost you." Her mum was clinging to Rose's hand, tears pouring from her eyes.

"What happened? Is he dead? Oh God Mum, I think he's dead." Rose sobbed on, ignoring the confused faces of Jackie, Mickey and Pete.

Jackie looked at Pete in fear and smoothed Rose's hair back. "You were in a coma Rose, we don't know what happened. Did you hit your head?" Jackie was pleading with her, hoping that was what had happened, even though she feared it was something much more complicated.

Rose suddenly realized, "I have to go back to sleep, put me back to sleep."

Pete motioned for Mickey to leave the room and put his hand on Jackie's shoulder. "I think that might be a good idea, you need your rest Rose." Pete wasn't sure what was going on and he wanted to keep her awake because she was being so insistent on _having_ to go back to sleep. Yet he knew that if he wanted to talk to her about what was going on, he'd have to wait until she did get some rest.

Jackie waved Pete off and stayed rooted to Rose's bedside until long after she'd fallen asleep. Pete had finally had to guilt her into going home, with the danger it might put the baby in. Pete had stayed though and waited for Rose to finally wake up.

"Feeling better?"

Rose struggled to sit up, as she regained consciousness and Pete helped adjust her pillows for her.

"Much thanks. Mum go home?"

Pete nodded, "Finally, she's pretty worried about you. We all are."

Rose gave him a small smile, and thought back to what she'd just seen. When she'd fallen back asleep she had never been so relieved to see the Tardis. The Doctor was still alive and from the image reflecting back in the mirror, he hadn't had to regenerate. He was in her room again, toying with one of her shirts. _'There's someone for everyone. That's what Martha had said. I used to think that not too long ago. And maybe there is but for some it was only for such a small time. And was that fair? I get to have all of time and space at my fingertips, to live long, too long but I can't keep the one person who fits me perfectly.'_

The Doctor had folded the shirt and laid it carefully on the bed. He'd left the room and locked the door with his sonic screwdriver. Rose had watched with sadness as he moved through the hallways, to the console, lost in his memories.

Rose let the memory fade and concentrated on Pete's words. "I'm fine. Just must of touched something not meant to be touched."

Pete's face grew serious but he didn't attempt to mask his discomfort, "I've noticed you've been sleeping a lot. Jackie says it's because…well, because you're depressed and that we should just let you alone. Trouble is, people saw you in your office, you were just sittin' there like you were asleep but they couldn't wake you."

Rose averted her eyes. She desperately hoped he would just drop it or that she could come up with an explanation that would appease him. Yet, she couldn't help but be a bit scared too. It had been fine when she'd just had the visions when she was sleeping but if this turned out to be a regular occurrence, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it.

Pete continued on, though he sensed Rose wasn't going to tell him anything. "When we brought you in here, they examined your brain. Your brain activity was like nothing we've ever seen." When he saw the fear in Rose's eyes, he held up his hand. "I know. You have no reason to trust Torchwood or me for that matter. But we need to find out what is going on with you. What if you had been driving? If this is a normal occurrence, we need to figure out how to control it."

"It's the first time and I'm fine. I'm sure it won't happen again." She wasn't willing to be Torchwood's lab rat.

"Rose, I need to know what's going on, I want to help you. When you last woke up you were talking about someone. Was it the Doctor?"

Rose closed her eyes, she knew he would think she was crazy if she told him. Even if he didn't, how could he stop Torchwood from wanting to use what she had to their advantage? Still, she knew the Torchwood in this universe was different from the one in hers and that had mostly to do with Pete and Mickey's guidance. Pete was the head with Mickey and Jake, second in command. Nothing went through without their permission, so of all people, shouldn't she be able to trust them?

Seeing Rose needed some time, Pete got up to leave, "Mickey told me once that when he was traveling with the Doctor, that the Tardis would translate languages inside his head. He also said the Tardis and the Doctor seemed to have some kind of psychic connection." When Rose opened her eyes suddenly, Pete opened the door to leave, "I know they aren't just dreams Rose."


	3. They say they feel what I do

A/N: Not mine etc.

Thanks for all the great reviews, they're excellent motivation. This is a bit of a slow chapter but it's needed for set-up purposes, next one will be more exciting.

Since Pete had walked out of Rose's room that morning, she'd resisted drifting back to sleep, instead spending her time contemplating what to do. Now that she knew that the Doctor was okay, for now at least, she wasn't as intent to see what he was doing. Especially since people were watching her and she didn't want to give anything over until she was sure what she wanted.

She was nearing a decision in the late afternoon and Rose hoped her family would come to visit her later, if just to stave off her boredom. A knock at the door stalled her thoughts.

"Hello." A dark haired woman said as she walked into Rose's hospital room. She wore dark jeans and leather jacket, with, Rose noted with some amusement, red Chucks. "My name's Gwen."

It was at that point that Rose took a closer look at the woman, she looked very familiar. Maybe Rose had known her in the other universe but she couldn't quite place it. Despite her trepidation at talking to anyone from Torchwood, Gwen had a nice smile.

Gwen pointed to Rose's bedside at the IV, "Used to have a mate who was an EMT. Every time he'd get a hangover he'd hook himself up to one o'those. Did wonders he said." She came to sit down on the edge of Rose's bed, her smile still in place.

Rose picked up on the heavy Welsh accent and a flash of memory from when the Doctor and Rose had visited Cardiff the first time. Gwen was a splitting image of Gwyneth, the girl who had given up her life. Still, this was a different person and a very different world. "What'd you want? Are you a doctor or somethin'?"

"Don't suppose you could quite call me that, no. But I am here to help you. Only if you want it o'course."

Rose shifted on the bed, irritated with being confined to it. "Can you help me out outta here? She asked sarcastically.

Gwen smiled again, "Actually I might just be able to. Your…Mr. Tyler wants you kept here for observation or till they can figure out what happened to you. He asked me to come in and talk to you."

Rose attempted to not feel somewhat betrayed by Pete, "What are you like a therapist or something?"

"Of sorts. I've had my formal training in that but I've moved on to a more specialized field." Gwen looked perfectly calm and honest, like she was waiting for Rose to give permission for her to go on.

"And you think I'm a part of this 'special field'?"

Gwen shifted on the bed, slightly uncomfortable with Rose's sarcasm. "When you were brought in, Mr. Tyler only allowed one doctor to see the brain scans. When Mr. Tyler was told about them, he in turn called me. So if you're thinking all of Torchwood knows what is going on with you, you're wrong. Whatever you decide to tell me, stays with me. You have my word."

Rose didn't speak for a long time. Just before Gwen had walked in, Rose had nearly convinced herself to talk to Pete about the visions. But this woman was a complete stranger, she might not even believe Rose. "So you think you can help me with my…situation? Not that I want it to be fixed or anything," Rose added quickly.

Gwen nodded, "I've been able to help others."

Rose couldn't help but be a little more curious, "Can you do it as well?"

Gwen smiled brightly at her, "If by 'it' you mean read minds, then no. But I had a sister who could." Rose noticed quickly that Gwen's bright eyes grew slightly sadder. "Lizzie had it all her life, very strong. She heard everything, everyone. Course no one believed her, all thought she was a nutter, me included. About six years ago it got worse, I tried to work with her, with my big fancy degree and all." Gwen's voice cracked at her last sentence and tears pooled in her eyes. "Eventually, I realized she wasn't making it up, she wasn't crazy. I tried desperately to find something that could help her but she was tired, she'd had enough."

Rose found her hand grasping the woman's hand, "I'm so sorry."

Gwen wiped her tears away, somewhat embarrassed, "Anyways, so after that I kept looking and I found others and eventually I figured out ways to help. Your case is somewhat different from what I gather but I'm sure if we work together, you won't end up in another coma," she good-naturedly joked. "Now I think you should stay here for the night, rest up, get re-hydrated and I'll see you in my office tomorrow morning." Gwen got up off the bed and left her card on the bedside table.

"What if it happens again?" Rose realized for the first time that she was a little scared of being pulled back into the Doctor's brain again. She didn't know if she could handle the emotional strain of seeing him in so much pain.

Gwen smiled sympathetically, "It probably will but we'll work on that tomorrow."

It did happen again but this time Rose wasn't thrust into the middle of an adventure but into a scene she'd seen a million times over. The Doctor was fixing the TARDIS and humming to himself, his mind full of physics and all sorts of things Rose couldn't understand. She was so happy to be in such a normal situation with him, free from the ever present sadness that had taken her Doctor over.

She didn't know how many hours had lapsed as she sat with him, watching him work but when she woke, she felt completely rested. She convinced Jackie to take her home first before going to Gwen's office, so she could shower and change. Jackie hadn't allowed Rose out of her sight the entire time though, even keeping up conversation while Rose was showering, just to ensure she didn't pass out again. Pete gave Rose a sympathetic smile but made no comments to his wife about her incessant behaviour.

When Jackie dropped Rose off at Gwen's office, Rose was pleasantly surprised to see that Gwen worked out of her home. Her flat was small but cozy with rich reds and yellows adorning the living room and kitchen. Once Gwen had gotten Rose a cup of tea, she lead her into the small, enclosed room of her office.

Gwen directed Rose to sit in a large chair, while she sat in a chair directly in front of Rose, beside the large black desk. She grabbed a notepad off the desk and turned on a sound recorder, after asking Rose for approval.

"So I generally start off with a few questions, just to get a feel." Rose nodded in understanding. "Alright then. Now you only have visions when you are unconscious?" Rose again nodded. "You've never seen or heard anything while your eyes were open, maybe you didn't think anything of it at the time?"

Rose thought for a long while, "Except for when I ended up in the hospital. But I think that as soon as the images came, I was unconscious."

Gwen smiled and noted something down on her pad, "How many people's minds have you read?"

"Just one."

Gwen paused slightly before writing but Rose caught what she thought was surprise on Gwen's face. "And do you know if you are seeing this person's future at all or is it their present?"

It was Rose's turn to be surprised, she'd never thought of that. She had no way of knowing whether she was seeing the Doctor's future or his present. Although since with him Time and Space were a bit…wibley wobbley, it made it significantly more complicated. "Not really sure, actually."

Gwen nodded, "Is it possible that you know the person you read?"

Rose had to swallow down a sob, "Yes. He…he was my best friend."

Gwen put her notebook aside and kneeled down in front of Rose, who was, despite her efforts, crying shamelessly. Gwen took both Rose's hands in support as Rose struggled to regain her composure. Once Rose had calmed down, Gwen removed her hands but didn't move back to her chair.

"Did he die?"

Rose choked out a small laugh, "No, it's…complicated."

Gwen lightly put her hand on Rose's leg, "Pete Tyler told you that you have full disclosure with me, right?" Rose nodded her head. "Then you better start from the beginning."

It took awhile but effectually Rose told Gwen all about her first meeting the Doctor, her feelings for him, all the way up to being sucked into this universe and her final good-bye on the beach. Gwen listened carefully through it all, just accepting all the fantastical details without comment. She made them lunch and even ordered her boyfriend, Rhys, to go pick up Chinese when it got late enough.

By the time Rose had finished it was late into the evening and she felt like she spent the entire day crying, which as it happened, was mostly true. "You must think I'm bloody mad," Rose said, when she'd finished her story.

Gwen laughed, they were sitting at the kitchen counter, sipping on tea, "That is a little unbelievable but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't heard stranger." Gwen put her cup down and stood up, "Well I was going to try to work with you on controlling your visions but as it's getting on, we should leave it to tomorrow."

Rose agreed and called her mum to pick her up, thanking Gwen for everything. She suddenly felt like a huge weight was lifted and that she could see this 'thing' for the gift that it was.

As Rose was leaving, Gwen stopped her by placing her hand on Rose's arm. "This connection you have with the Doctor, be careful that you don't let it take over. Your life is here now."

Rose averted her eyes and walked out to the car, those words resonating in her head. She certainly didn't feel like her life was here.


	4. Will you stay till the darkness leaves?

A/N: Thanks to everybody who reviewed but I have a bit of a favour to ask. Is it possible if you have time, you could include some constructive criticisms? I'm really excited about this story so I'd really love to do a good job of it. Thanks and enjoy!

Rose's daily appointments with Gwen, weren't anything like the first. Gwen expected a lot from Rose and usually by the time they're two hour sessions were over, Rose was utterly exhausted.

Gwen had started with 'mental exercises,' all of which seemed fairly childish to Rose. As they progressed though, Rose noticed she could barely keep her eyes open throughout the rest of the day. What had started to scare Rose was that when she fell asleep, most of the time her visions weren't there. She had dreams and they were clearly dreams, since most of them featured her _with_ the Doctor.

A week after they'd started Gwen explained the sudden loss, "We're putting a sort of 'door' on your ability, your connection to the Doctor. So that you can open and close it at will. But to be able to get to that point we have to build the door first, so things won't filter through quite as easily."

Rose shifted uncertainly, "But it'll come back, yeah? Cause, what if something happens…to him."

Gwen looked at Rose with something akin to pity, "It'll come back and then you'll be able to stop it when you need to. I was thinking that it would be a good idea for you to head back to work, slowly at first. Maybe find a hobby?"

Rose stood up from her chair so she could stare out the window, "You mean I should stop being obsessed with a man who is…gone?" Her tone was bitter and she didn't attempt to wipe away the tear rolling down her cheek. "Everyone keeps telling me that. I'm just not ready, you know, to let him go. I can't."

Rose did go back to Torchwood the next day and she really did make an attempt to be around her family as much as possible. The entire time though, she worked hard with Gwen. Slowly she was able to pull herself out of the visions and once she had attained that, she was able to enter into them whenever she wanted to.

During conversations, at work, even in her sessions with Gwen, Rose would allow her mind to wander to the Doctor's. She kept telling herself she was just watching over him but she knew that what she was really trying to do was contact him.

It didn't make sense that she could be connected with him like this but not him with her. But he couldn't hear her, despite how many times she tried; he never heard or felt her. At times, she thought it was for the best. Just because he could hear her, still didn't mean he find her again. But most of the time, she ignored that. She was blind to everything but being back with the Doctor.

It was a few weeks after she'd attained the ability to control her connection, that she was having dinner with Mickey. He was talking about work and Rose, as per her new habit, was watching the Doctor. She wasn't sure when Mickey had stopped talking but when he pushed his chair back and stood up, Rose finally realized he'd noticed what she was doing.

His eyes were on fire, his fists clenched and all he managed was a frustrated shake of the head before leaving the restaurant. Rose chased after him and yanked on his arm to stop him.

"I know you don't want to be here but you could at least bloody try!"

Rose took a step back, her voice unable to respond.

"I know what it's like. I don't know if you actually remember but I was trapped here too. I may have made the decision to stay but that don't mean I didn't sometimes wished I'd gone back with you." Mickey shoved his hands in jacket pockets and closed his eyes, trying to reach some kind of calm. "Look, I know you miss him but you have your family, a mum _and_ a dad. There's a lot of people that don't even have that."

Rose closed her eyes, willing away the tears. Mickey was absolutely right, he was saying things she'd been telling herself over and over again. But she couldn't resist this one last connection with the Doctor.

Mickey moved towards her, his anger gone, and took her hand. "You're not living his life, I know you think you are. He's moved on, you see that, he's got a life. But you, you're just watching his. Do you think he'd want that?"

Rose shook her head, still not confident enough to speak. She was being selfish, ignoring everyone around her, as if she had something more important than the rest of them. But she was just holding onto something important, something that wasn't really there. Still, there was that small glimmer of hope.

"I know, you're right. It's just I can't help but think that if maybe one day he'll know I'm there and then-"

Mickey dropped her hand and the anger was back, "What Rose? He said he couldn't come back. You think that if he knows you're in his head, he'll somehow figure out a way to get here?"

Rose didn't want to answer that because it was a question that plagued her like nothing else. Mickey shook his head at her and walked away. This time Rose didn't attempt to follow him. She stood on her spot, in the freezing cold, resisting the temptation to fall back into the Doctor's mind. Finally she made up her mind and let herself relax into his vision. Because this would be the last time for awhile.

Rose was sitting at her desk, a month later, pouring over a file, when she heard a knock on her door. Gwen was leaning against the door frame, a big smile on her face. "How's it going?"

Rose closed the file folder and pushed away from the desk, stretching her arms above her head. "I never realized the amount of paper work involved in fighting aliens," she joked.

"Rhys wants me to watch the match with him tonight at the pub and I was thinking you could join us."

Rose looked at her desk, it was reasonably clear, so she wouldn't feel too guilty leaving it for the night. "I'm supposed to watch it with Mickey tonight, actually." Ever since their terse conversation that month ago, Rose had been trying her absolute hardest to get back on Mickey's good side. Even if it meant watching endless football games.

Gwen leaned on Rose's desk, "Already saw him in the hall, he and Jake will meet us there at seven." When she saw Rose still looking a little unsure, she continued, "I know you're still a little worried about going out in public but you've had everything under control-" Gwen tapped her head, "for more than a month. And I'll be there if anything happens."

Rose clasped her hands in front of her and rolled her eyes, "Like the Doctor doing something ridiculous and insane, and flashes of it knocking me out of my chair." Even though Rose could control her visions now, there were times when the Doctor would be feeling something so strongly that it would flash painfully into her. These days though, she resisted falling back into his world, intent on _actually _living in this one.

Gwen gave her a sympathetic smile, "You gotta get used to it, Rose."

Rose found herself a few hours later, laughing away, completely forgetting her visions, the other world, even the Doctor and just enjoying the rather energetic company.

"Oi! I did no such thing. And you shut your mouth Rhys or you're going to get a slap!

"So there's Gweny, shirt off, harping on this poor lad. Knew she was the woman for me right then." Rhys joined in with rest of the laughing table.

Gwen wiped a tear from her eye, "And that was my last experience with whiskey."

Mickey, unable to stop laughing at the half-naked image of Gwen in his head, pointed animatedly at Rose, "Remember that night with the banana liqueur?"

Rose erupted into another onslaught of giggles, "I'd nearly forgotten about that!" Rose put her hand to her mouth to stop laughing, "My mate Shareen had stolen this bottle from her mum's, we were what? Like fourteen? So we start chugging this stuff, right and-"

A sudden pain ripped through Rose's head, like nothing before. She felt all the air being pulled from her lungs and intense nausea flood her stomach. She heard Gwen calling her name from far off but the pain was too intense. Rose barely registered Gwen rushing her into the bathroom, a blinding light distracting her vision.

"Okay Rose, just remember what you're supposed to do. I need you to nod your head if you can hear me."

Rose could feel herself being pulled into the Doctor's mind, obviously he was in as much pain as she was. But, like Gwen had taught her, she resisted and with extreme effort she nodded her head.

Gwen had both of her hands on the sides of Rose's face, "Okay good, now tell me what you see, what you feel."

All Rose wanted to do was lapse into sobs but she forced her concentration into identifying what was going on within her head. "Pain, he's in pain but he hasn't been hurt." Rose tried to concentrate on the images swarming her head but she couldn't recognize anything. "There his memories I think, it feels like his memories are being pulled from him." The Doctor's screams exploded in her ears and she couldn't imagine a worse sound.

And then it was gone. Rose was crouched on the bathroom floor staring at Gwen. The nausea, the screams, the images, everything gone. Rose closed her eyes and tried to reconnect with the Doctor but for the first time since she'd learned how, she couldn't. She must have sat there for ten minutes trying but she couldn't get anything.

"Rose?"

Rose felt the tears rush to her eyes, "He's gone."


	5. They Say You're Here Every Moment

They Say You're Here Every Moment

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long, school and work have drained me of all my time haha. Little darker of a chapter just as a warning. I apologize in advance for the cliché that takes over the last part but it's needed.

Disclaimer: All chapter titles are from Kelly Clarkson's "Irvine" Doctor Who is not mine.

"You think she was connected to him, somehow, through the TARDIS?" Pete kept his voice low as he asked Mickey.

Mickey checked over his shoulder to look around the kitchen of the Tyler mansion. "It translated languages for us…in our heads. I don't quite understand how it works but maybe since the Doctor is connected, like telepathically, to the TARDIS and so was Rose, maybe the ship connected them to each other after the crack in the universes closed."

Gwen took a sip of her tea and nodded her head, "From what she described to me, she sees everything he sees, feels everything he does-"

"Oh God," Jackie chocked, covering her mouth as tears welled up in her eyes. "No one should have to be in that man's head. Bugger as he was, he looked so sad sometimes."

Gwen continued, "It makes sense, as much sense as this makes anyways. But we know the Doctor doesn't have the same connection, its just Rose."

Pete his hand over his tired eyes, "You said Rose was in pain, maybe with the Doctor's pain?"

"I've seen it before with people who can read, minds that is, if someone is in intense pain and they are psychically connected, that pain can manifest itself physically in the reader."

Jackie stood up angrily, "Then I don't want him in Rose's head!"

Pete pulled his wife back down into her chair and gently rubbed her rather large stomach, "Jacks there's really only one reason the connection could be severed."

Jackie placed her hands over her baby, which was only weeks from coming out. "Nah, no way the Doctor's dead."

"Yeah, Mum, I think he is."

Everyone turned around to see Rose standing in the doorway. Her eyes were red-rimmed but clear. Despite that, she was gripping the doorframe like she was holding on for life.

Mickey pushed his chair away and moved quickly to Rose, "We don't know that. Could be he's just out of contact, out of range."

Rose smirked bitterly, "So what, I can hear him throughout all time and space but he's just going through a tunnel or something. No service?"

Jackie had quickly lost all her anger at the sight of her once again broken daughter. "But he can't die, he does that face changing thing. Maybe that's why."

Rose's voice was just a bare whisper, "He might not have had time, he has to choose to do it and maybe he…"

_You just get tired_

Jackie waved her hand about in the air, "I think that's bloody rubbish, I do. No way that man would give up, he's probably-"

"Stop. Just stop. I felt it! He's not there anymore. Let's all just move on." With that Rose stormed back upstairs, only then allowing the tears to stream down her face.

She ran straight to the shower, turning on the water as hot as possible. She stripped down and sat on the bathroom floor, allowing the growing steam to surround her. The tears poured down her face but she barely noticed, the only thing running through her head was his face. Happy, sad, angry. Brown eyes, blue eyes, short hair, longer, constantly messy hair. It was swarming her mind and she longed desperately for the times when she could slip into his mind and know exactly what he was thinking.

Slowly Rose stood up, pushing the tears away with the utmost force and stepped into the water. She was getting so bloody tired to moving on, she couldn't handle this anymore. Being ripped from him didn't get any easier and she honestly couldn't see an end to her pain.

Anger roared through her, this was all so incredibly unfair. Once, she could have handled it, she had already started to accept her fate after she'd been pulled through to the other side. Twice, at least she'd gotten the chance to say good-bye and even though he never finished, she knew what he was about to say. But this third time, it was all she had left of him. Yes it wasn't much and it may have been a problem at times but just the fact that she could be there for him, even if he didn't know it. Knowing he was there made her stronger.

Rose pounded her hand against the shower wall, that strength was all gone now.

Three Months Later

"Rose I need you to come watch your baby sister tonight. Your Dad and I have a dinner we're going to."

Rose sighed, "I don't know Mum I have a lot of work I need-"

"You're full of shit, you know that," Jackie was struggling not to lose her temper. "Since you moved out you've seen Elizabeth less times than I can count on my bloody hand!"

Rose shifted the receiver to her other ear, this wasn't the first time Jackie had confronted her with this. "Mum, I've just been busy."

"Everyone else is busy tonight and I'm not hiring a babysitter when you can very well do this. You can very well push everyone else away but I won't have you doing that to Liz."

A few months ago Rose would have burst into tears at that accusation but now it barely touched her. Jackie wasn't incorrect, Rose had been pushing everyone away. She just couldn't find the strength to keep putting energy into life. "Yeah, alright. I guess I can bring my work with me."

Jackie's voice never lost its edge, "Fine, I'll see you at eight."

Rose slammed down the phone with a little more force than needed. Her mother was the only one who still called her out on what she was doing. Mickey had stopped trying, keeping their relationship strictly to work. Pete had tried but eventually he'd just fallen into being her boss and nothing else. There was no reason to see Gwen anymore and it was much too painful to be around her, so Rose had simply ignored her phone calls and visits.

Rose was fully aware of what the Doctor would think of her, if he saw her like this, even what Rose a year ago would have thought of herself. But the Doctor was dead and so was that Rose. Her heart had been broken too many times and it had died too.

Rose looked down to her desk where she'd been distractedly scribbling. Bad Wolf. She tore the piece of paper to bits and threw it into the bin. She could never forget it, never move on. She still dreamt of him, every night. But now she feared those dreams, knowing they meant nothing.

Later that night, as Rose sat by her baby sister's bed she couldn't help but wish she had been the one that was pregnant on that beach. Silly thought, she knew, since her and the Doctor had never had that sort of relationship but at least she would have had some part of him.

Rose forced thoughts of the Doctor away. Nowadays she wouldn't let herself think of him, otherwise she would get lost in the pain and the anger. She didn't have the energy for emotions like that, she was barely making it through the days as is.

The rest of the night went by in a haze, when Jackie got home she tried to get Rose to talk but again, Rose blew by her, barely saying good-bye. She stormed out of the house and took a taxi to the river side, leaving her car at her parents. She walked along the edge for hours, not noticing the rain pouring down.

She was trying to find the point, trying to figure out her next step. She knew she couldn't keep living like this. How was that the Doctor had consumed her life so completely that when he was gone she fell into obsession, anger and depression?

Rose sat down on a bench, she had no idea what time it was but the street was empty. She was now having trouble breathing and she felt tears coursing down her cheeks, even though she was forbidding them. She was so lost, she just needed him back. But he was gone, this drug, no this illness had infected her so completely that she couldn't see a way out.

Rose leaned her head back against the stone wall, closing her eyes.

"Rose?"

Rose recognized the voice instantly but it wasn't possible so she kept her eyes shut.

"Rose, open your eyes."

Reluctantly she wrenched open her eyelids and soft, golden glow encased her. She was standing in the golden glow staring at non-other than Captain Jack Harkness.

"Jack!" She moved forwards, despite the impossibility of his actually being there.

"Not quite," he shot her his characteristically charming grin. "I'm actually the TARDIS but I thought you could use a familiar face."

Rose shook her head, she knew she had to be in some sort of dream but this felt more real than her prior visions with the Doctor. "I don't understand."

The Jack figure moved towards her and touched her arm, "I've been waiting to talk to you for a long time but I didn't have the energy till now. I still can't bring you across Rose, I'm sorry."

Rose relished in "Jack's" touch, she could actually feel it but at the words she felt her tiny glimmer of hope die. "It's been you then? That kept me connected to the Doctor?"

Jack nodded, "Yes. I didn't have the energy to keep the connection open on both sides and I knew you could handle it better than him."

Rose was shocked, "What?"

Jack nodded, a large smile on his face, "You can handle this pain but if he had, had to watch you and not be able to get to you, it would have driven him mad."

Rose cried out, "Then why did you take it away from me?"

Jack took her hand, "He had to hide, as a human. I had to remove the connection otherwise he would have been found. And I'm sorry for that. I know how hurt you've been. That's part of the reason I brought you here."

Rose stared around her at the nothingness, "Where are we?"

Jack followed her eyes, "Technically we're nowhere…and everywhere. Only a place where the Bad Wolf could be."

Rose absorbed the information, "You mean me, I'm the Bad Wolf."

Jack nodded, "You saw the whole of time and space when you took the time vortex into you. You saw everything that was to happen, you knew in that moment that you would be separated from the Doctor."

Rose burst into tears, "But why didn't I remember! I could have changed it!"

Jack shook his head sadly, "That's what happened when the Doctor took it away from you. He wouldn't have remembered it either. This was supposed to happen, this _needed_ to happen." Jack pulled her into a hug, trying to ease her anger before continuing. "You can't give up Rose, I know how hard this is, how unfair. But he needs you, we all need you."

Rose brought her tear glazed eyes up to those familiar brown eyes, "You can bring me back?"

Jack smiled down at her, "I'm working on it but you have to know it might take a long time."

Rose nodded her head, she was filled was a lightness she hadn't felt in a long while. "How will I know?"

Jack gave her another one of his grins, "Why Rose, you're the one who will let you know."

She hugged the figure in front of her, her young toothy grin taking over her face. After a short while, Jack pulled away and placed his hands on Rose's shoulders, "There is something else, the reason I have power to do this is because I have been in hiding as well, the Doctor powered me down but I've been saving energy just in case."

"He's in trouble isn't he?"

Jack nodded, "As usual. But this time he needs your help. It seems that he's quite taken with this 'human' thing and-"

"He's fallen in love," Rose tried not to look too affected.

Jack smiled, "You do know him best. Of everyone that has been on this ship…and I've been in everyone of those heads…you were the one." Jack shook his head slightly, as if to remember what they were talking about, "Yes, he has. He doesn't remember the Doctor that much and what he's heard doesn't make him want to be the Doctor."

Rose understood completely, who would want to go back to the kind of loneliness that the Doctor faced? "If he doesn't remember me, then how can I help?"

"Oh but he does, I mean not everything but I'm fairly sure…he's in danger if he doesn't switch back."

"Not just him," Rose added. "You and Martha as well."

Jack smiled again in pride, "Rose'd know." He repeated the Doctor's earlier words. "I can't bring you over obviously but Martha is bringing John Smith, that's what he's calling himself, to me. I'll be able to connect you shortly within your heads. Just remind him…I guess-"

"Why he is so fantastic."

Jack hugged her, "Thank you Rose, for all that you've done. I hope I'll see you again soon."

Rose felt more tears streaming down her face but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. She simply returned the embrace with as much vigour as possible.

"Good-bye Rose."

The next instant she was facing an entirely different face, one she thought she'd never see again. The Doctor.

Too bad he was looking at her like she was an alien.

A/N: So I was just wondering how it was that John Smith finally decided to turn back into the Doctor exactly, so this is my theory! Thanks for reading, please review!


	6. You Might Be The Only One Who Sees Me

A/N: Hi back again, school's zapped all my creativity but this chapter's been in my head for months

You Might Be The Only One Who Sees Me

A/N: Hi back again, school's zapped all my creativity but this chapter's been in my head for months.

"Who are you? Where are we?" John Smith exclaimed, forcing his hand through his hair.

Rose's hands flew to her face in a poor attempt to cover her sob. Here was the Doctor. Her Doctor. Standing only a few feet from her…but he was so different. His eyes weren't the Doctor's. Gone was the age, the guilt and in its place, human confusion and fear. Rose couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Looking around her, Rose saw they weren't really in any sort of room. Everything was white but there were no walls, no ceiling, no floor. It was like they were literally nowhere.

John Smith moved towards her suddenly, a ghost of recognition crossing his features. His voice was soft, "I know you, I…I've seen you before." Rose could only manage a bare nod and released the sob she'd been holding. He kept coming towards her, his head tilted to the side, "Rose. You are Rose. I've seen you before, you're always in my dreams." His hand began to reach for her face before suddenly dropping, "I'm dreaming then?"

Rose took a steadying breath and finally spoke, "Not really. This has to do with the Doctor."

John's face hardened and he moved away from her, "Course it does."

Rose resisted the temptation to reach her hand out to him, she summoned all the control she could find in herself and reminded herself of why she was here. "I know that you're happy with your life, that you've fallen…that you fell in love." She wiped the tears away with frustration, "…and now you're being asked to give that all up."

John moved towards her again, desperation on his face. "All I want is to get married, have children, just live a normal life…I've seen it, the watch showed me," he was begging with her.

Rose collapsed onto the floor at his words and John rushed down beside her, one hand on her arm, the other on her back. His sudden touch sent her into more sobs and before she thought about it, she had wrapped herself in his arms. They sat there for a long time, both needing comfort. He was lost and she felt like she'd just lost the very thing she needed to find.

The intimacy came so easily, even though he was a different man. He smelled different, his touch was initially more hesitant but if she kept her eyes closed, it almost felt like it was her Doctor.

John stroked the hair away from her face but didn't move away from her, "Why are you always falling? In my dreams you're always smiling, holding my hand, then you're falling and I can't see you anymore, just a wall?"

Rose bit her lip, how could she explain? She could barely even talk about it, being ripped away from him. That's what it felt like, she hadn't fallen from him, she'd been ripped from him.

"He loves you, doesn't he?"

Rose pulled her head away from his shoulder, her mouth opening and closing, not knowing what to say. "I love him."

John Smith nodded slowly, "But you're not with him anymore?"

Rose wiped the remaining tears from her face and moved further away from John. "We got separated, I'm trapped in a parallel world." Not noticing, she took his hand in hers, "But I could see everything," at this she smiled. "It was like I never really left. I'm still with him, he…he just doesn't know it."

John Smith sat back on his hands, taking it all in. "Tell me."

So Rose told John Smith about the last year and he told her about his last couple of months.

"So I'm supposed to choose a life like that? Alone?"

Rose sighed, how could she ask anyone to do that? "He's not totally alone."

John Smith stood up and stared down at her, "But he doesn't know that. Will he remember this?"

Rose shook her head feebly, "I don't know."

"Can you get back?"

"I hope so."

"But you don't know for sure," he began pacing, running his hands over his face, ruffling his hair and for a moment Rose forgot who she was talking to.

Rose stood up and charged towards John, "He saves lives, he stands up for people who can't, he makes not only earth but the entire universe safer. He is a good man. He didn't choose his life or all the pain that comes with it but he keeps going. He is the strongest man I have ever met. And if you take him away, you will take him away from everyone."

Rose marched away, turning her back on him and crossing her arms. When she spoke again her voice was calmer, slower, "I would give anything to see him again, anything. But what he showed me, what he taught me…if I never see him again…I'm just so much better off because I met him."

There was a long silence before John spoke, "I hope he'll remember this."

Rose turned around and let out a sob of relief before running and throwing her arms around John Smith. He didn't move for a moment and then he too wrapped his arms around her. "Golden hair that smells like strawberries, terribly big brown eyes, yellowy, soft skin. I'll remember, so he can remember."

Rose's eyes were swimming with tears as she reached her hands to outline his face. "I miss this face, I miss him so much." Rose realized though that even though the TARDIS said she was working on getting through, it wasn't for sure. That this could be the closest she'd ever get to the Doctor. "…just make sure he knows I'm there for him, that he is not alone and that I love him so much." Maybe that was okay, maybe that was enough.

She hugged him again not wanting to let go, "Thank you."

And suddenly John Smith's voice changed, "Well anything to make Rose Tyler smile, lights up entire city blocks. Bit of a toothy grin but I happen to-"

Rose stumbled backwards but John Smith had a look of shock on his face, "Sorry that keeps happening, that's the Doctor then?"

All Rose could do was nod her head but a small smile escaped her, "He's very fond of talking." They stood for several seconds smiling at each other and then both started talking at the same time.

"You should-"

"I better get-"

Rose smiled at him, "Good-bye John Smith."

"Good-bye Rose Tyler, it was a pleasure to meet you."

Rose was about to say the same, when she found herself staring out onto the water. She looked around her, she was in the middle of the city. But not her city she realized, looking out into the ocean, where the sun was just starting to raise.

"I'm in bloody Cardiff."

She sat down on a bench near her, wrapping her jacket around her against the breeze. She took a deep breath and opened her mind to see if the Doctor was back yet. For a long moment there was nothing and then image after image flashed in her mind. Gallifrey, Daleks, the TARDIS, Cybermen, an assemblage of different faces and then…hers. The Doctor was reliving their first meeting, their dance, his death and finally her…falling away from him.

Rose watched the Doctor punish The Family, it was the first time she'd ever been afraid, not of him, just of how far he would go. It was like he'd slowly sunk back into his former ninth self but this time there was no one to stop him. The darkness in his eyes, when he stared at the mirror turned her stomach.

She'd always known about the darkness but when she was with him, it only stood on the cliff and other times, disappeared completely. Rose's heart was breaking to see it in full form now. She also knew that he didn't remember, he didn't know they'd spoken, held each other. He thought he was alone…he didn't remember.

Rose shut herself off from him, exhausted. Could she really do this again? Could she watch him suffer and not be able to do anything about it? Did she have any choice?

A cab ride, train and another cab took her to her apartment and straight into the shower. Rose had spent most of the trip sleeping, keeping her phone off. When she finally got out of shower she checked her phone. She'd missed 15 calls. And it was ringing again.

"Mum? How long's it been?"

A few hours later Rose sat in the Tyler residence's living room in front of Pete, her mum, Mickey and Gwen. Rose was impressed that they had all so eagerly come, after how she'd treated them over the last few months. Apparently she'd been missing for three days and she guessed that was enough to soften their hearts.

It didn't stop Jackie from slapping her though.

Rose gave them the brief explanation of what had happened but no one looked happy with her when she'd finally finished. Her mum had walked out of the room without a word, Mickey following not long after. Pete crossed his arms and said nothing, Gwen was the only one to say anything to her.

"Can he hear you?"

Rose shook her head, resisting the urge to lapse into tears.

Finally Pete spoke, "If you plan on leaving, you best make the most out of the time you've got."

Rose nodded. Even though she could never be sure whether she would leave, he was right. And that was exactly what Rose did. It had only taken three slammed doors, two bouquets of flowers and a promise to baby-sit for Jackie to forgive her.

"Guess, I just thought you'd eventually stay."

Rose reached for her mum's hand, "I'm not going anywhere right now and I may not be."

Mickey was a little more work, tickets to football matches got her snide looks, showing up for pub night with work resulted in him leaving and Rose was pretty sure flowers weren't going to work. Eventually it was just time that Mickey needed. He'd put in enough as it was, now it was her time.

Rose kept most of the Doctor's doing's to herself, even when he'd been captured by the Master. She talked to Gwen as much as possible and was glad to have her back as a friend, as well as a guide.

Three weeks into the Doctor's imprisonment Rose stormed into Pete's office, despite Gwen's assurance it wouldn't help.

"I need to get through to him."

Pete sat back into his chair and crossed his arms, Gwen followed Rose in shortly after. "What makes you think I have a way?" Rose didn't miss his quick look at Gwen.

Rose walked closer to the desk, "I know about IT."

Pete slumped in his chair in frustration, "You told her," he said to Gwen.

Gwen came forward, hands on her hips, "No, she found it herself. But I've already told her it's not to be used."

Rose ignored Gwen, "He needs me."

"We need you too! And there's no way in bloody hell I'm risking your life so you can just _talk_ to the Doctor." Pete stood up and stared down Rose.

"Look, I heard him. He's stuck there for an entire year and I can't just leave him to be all alone."

Pete stared down at her now in confusion. Rose had told them about the Doctor being captured but that was all. "How do you know that?"

Rose put her hands on her hips and refrained from rolling her eyes, "I can hear his thoughts, remember." Rose walked over to the window and stared out, "He keeps him in bloody tent on the floor and he aged him, horribly." Rose turned back to them, her resolve back, "He needs to connect with the psychic network, it's a bit complicated but I can help."

At this Gwen stepped forward, her arms folded across herself and her voice hard, "How are you going to that, how do you know you won't get in the way, Rose?

"Bad Wolf," it was a bare whisper, even Rose wasn't sure enough to say it aloud.

Pete stood up, "No, absolutely no way. Gwen's right, if the Doctor has a plan maybe its best to just leave it to him. You have work to do here and I won't risk using something we know nothing about."

Pete turned his back to both of them and returned to his desk, ignoring Rose's glare by rummaging through paper work.

It was mostly that Rose just couldn't bare to see the Doctor all alone like that, she knew Martha Jones would be successful, she wasn't sure how knew that but it was firm in her mind. Maybe they were right, that she might muck it up if she got involved. She knew the Doctor now spent most of his time interfacing with the system, in fact she was surprised that she was still connected to him at all, considering what had happened to the TARDIS.

The piece of equipment the three of them were referring to was a piece of alien technology that they had found. They thought it was some sort of communication device and it flared with similar readings to what was going on with Rose and the TARDIS. Pete had hidden it away, knowing Rose would want it, as well as not knowing the dangers associated with it.

Gwen suspected that it would force open the "channel" as it were, between Rose and the Doctor and had filed her ideas with the device. Rose, in a desperate search through the archives had found the reference and run right into Gwen office moments later.

Rose left work early that day, giving up on trying to push Gwen and Pete into letting her have it. It had been almost four months since she'd been in that white space of the TARDIS, with three of those months being the Doctor stuck in 1969. She'd be the first to admit that she missed him even more than before if that was possible. But she was fairly sure that trying to connect with him wasn't just that, there seemed to be something prodding at her that this was something she needed to do.

Rose had considered figuring out a way to steal the communication device, throwing her job and most likely some of her friends away in the process but Pete had the foresight to send her on a 'business trip' before she could make a decision. There had been some strange things happening in Cardiff lately, things appearing and disappearing.

Rose, Mickey and Jake were sent to investigate since there was no local Torchwood branch present. They'd split up on the first day to take readings around the city. Rose had noticed her device's readings building as she walked towards the area that four months ago she'd awoken in. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary she wandered down a side street not far from the waterfront. In a tiny store window, she saw something that made her drop the device from her hands.

Bad Wolf Psychics

A/N: I promise I won't take another few months to post the next chapter but I made this one really long to make up for the long wait. R and R!


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